Many things happened to me in the past months.

Mainly I've become a broken man without any hope who has been caused much pain and suffering. I was very dependent of the strength and willpower of my dearest friends and I was so lucky that they endured my talking and complaints, that they made me find new hope.

And thus I began to live my life the way it was before, as a happy realistic guy who lets himself getting distracted easily by the things he liked or found interest in overlooking the important parts which decide about my future like school. If I screw this up the only one to blame is myself but there is no helping it because this is the way that I am and even if I had the strength to change I am not sure if I would want to.

I am making experiences which I abandoned before just my neglecting things I could have done. Maybe I was ignorant maybe I was overcautious maybe I was afraid. I don't know but I still have my principles and I don't want anyone to think that I will change gradually because of the things I do or don't do.

I am very happy to have become an assistant at many conventions in Germany because it is so much fun to work for the things you like and to meet this many people.

Today school starts and I was really looking forward to it, but now I feel sick and demoralized, well I've gotta see for myself what the new term will bring and how I can make the best out of it. Wish me luck